Calling all right-wing christian nut-jobs!

[pasithea]

Hey guys,

You can stop being assholes now. The rapture was yesterday and if you're reading this, you didn't make the cut. You really should probably have paid more attention to that Jesus guy or something.

But hey, look at it this way. Now you've got what? A thousand years to figure out how to do it right. So... Hey. First thing: Chill out and relax. Grab a HellBeer. Nobody likes uptight eternally damned. 'kay?

Hm? Oh! Me? I'm still here because I felt like hanging around. J-man is a pretty decent guy but I don't feel like crashing on his couch for all eternity just yet.

Anyhow. Seriously, I mean it. If you missed the boat yesterday, you probably need to be doing something different. Turn off the TV for a while and think about it.

Comments

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

The Rapture was yesterday? dang.

Now we're stuck with 7 years of fun crap like 70lb hailstones, fire, earthquakes, meteors poisoning the whole water supply and did I menation 70-freakin-pound hailstones!

[emiofbrie.livejournal.com]

Supposedly they'll only fall on "the promised land" to punish them for their apartheid policies of late.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Also zombies. I think the 70 pound hailstones might counteract the zombies in some instances.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Jesus's most memorable rivalry was with a fig tree, which did not bear figs, when figs were out of season. Dude was not cool.