Eye of the Storm

[pasithea]

I couldn't decide whether this post went in my political or spirituality blog so I'm putting it in my core-self one.

Anyhow... I'm just reflecting on this moment. I'm in one those moments where I am the eye of the storm that is me. Bright, calm, but with all sorts of things swirling around the outside. I wish I could hold onto them longer but I always seem to become the dervish again.

In these moments, I have funny little thoughts about religion. I really do like the core ideas of Jesus, Buddha, Krishna. They're really close to the world I want. "Love and peace, respect others, respect yourself." But.. I suppose I wear my heart on my sleeve in a lot of ways. I get upset with the people who claim these religions as their own but they seem to ignore the parts that I like about them. It really distresses me. So I end up being very angry towards people and I tend to condemn religions because of the way the followers behave which in turn is damaging to my own spirituality because in blanket-condemning those people, I do myself a disservice and am more like them than the prophets they claim to follow.

The followers make it easy to scorn religion and while I appreciate the core ideals of many religions, I don't have any faith in the mystical aspects. I'm pretty skeptical any of their historical figures existed, let alone the miraculous events and so that becomes another piece of contempt for them. I've never been incurious. It's my nature to take things apart and look at them and think about them and put them back together in different ways and break them and rebuild them with fewer or more parts. It isn't inherently malicious. I'm just a tinker.

Yet, when I get frustrated with the ills of the world and I see double-speak from religious people, I get angry and all that tinkering gives me lots of weapons. It makes it even easier for me to respond to hate with hate.

I don't like it, but I don't know what the solution is really. I will not 'grow a thicker skin'. I would rather hurt and be angry and stay awake at night, agonizing over the world and my own shortcomings than become numb and dead to the world. Perversely enough, all my misanthropy is rooted in a deep love of mankind. We are all such beautiful, wonderful, and strange creatures, that it makes me very sad to see so much selfishness in the world. Imagine what all we might accomplish if we weren't so busy fighting each other all the time.

That's what I want. A world where people treat each other gently and reach for the stars. I just wish I were better at living up to it myself.

Comments

[anaisdjuna.livejournal.com]

I think the answer is to love them and have compassion for them as struggling beings. You are very smart and very strong and have had unique experiences (many of them hard and bad) that have brought you to fight and learn to create and be yourself. Not everyone has the same strengths or courage.

J, B & K would love the folks and have mercy on them for being at their levels. It's not easy as some of them at their levels would hurt you or tattoo you or deny your right to marry. They are wrong and they know less love in their hearts.

It's ok to think about the ways that they are wrong and to condemn them for being wrong. You can't deny or lobotomize your brain. Just make sure your heart works in tandem and understands this multiplicity.

Love teaches.

I always look to the strength and dignity of the civil rights struggle in times like this. Black people got so much horrible evil crap from white people; yet they did not act half as horrible to white people as they received. It was their dignity and fight for their selfhood and rights along side of good white people that gave America what dignity and integrity it has been able to reach.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

While you stay awake angry and distraught with your refusal to grow a thicker skin do you mind if I chew on your baby soft thin-skinned butt?

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

But it's so ticklish!

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Oh? You're not angry politico enough to remain pissed at the world while someone is tickling your butt?

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

I only have enough anger for whoever is tickling me at the moment. I'm like a cat. Do not blow on kitty's belly.

[zeeth_kyrah]

(Note to self: no zerberts.)

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Well, at least I know how to win any political argument we may get into then. I'll be all "After the revolution genital mutalation of the bourgeoisie must be mandatory." and you'll be all "No, mass beheadings of the worst offenders and force the rest to live in the worst, most overcrowded parts of town that the revolutionary council hasn't been able to restore social services to yet." and then I'll just pull up your shirt and give you a raspberry.

[kyhwana.livejournal.com]

The idea's of Jesus/buddha/Krishna are all very nice, but we're still human and their idea's will just end up getting corrupted. We're better off without them at all.