Zombies

[pasithea]

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. one weapon.
2. one song blasting on the speakers.
3. one famous person to fight alongside you.

1) Flail. Definitely. Hard to break, easy to use, shatters bones. Swords will go dull, possibly break or fail to cut through dried leathery skin. Guns run out of bullets. Maces have less inertia. Yeah. Definitely flail. Quarter staff in a pinch.

2) Something totally inappropriate to the situation to give it a really odd vibe. Maybe Tiny Tim singing 'Tiptoe through the Tulips' or something like that.

3) Count Dracula. Better to be an eternally beautiful vampire with my mind intact and superhuman strength to rip the zombies apart than to be a mindless zombie. And if there's zombies in the world, why not vampires? Though I'd settle for Merlin or anyone with a starship.

Comments

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

I think that song works really well, actually. :) I have a couple of flanged maces you can borrow, along with the Led Zeppelin album.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I don't know Ernesto Hoost personally, so I think you'd do fine in a pinch :)

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I have your confidence. I have big calf muscles, too.

I think I should point out that I'm not in the SCA or anything fruity like that... I just thought it might be a good idea to have some maces and flails around. Maybe to swat people who collect broadswords and katanas.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

A mace is an eminently practical weapon. I prefer the finesse of a rapier, as I think I've mentioned before, but that's no good against zombies, is it?

I demand photographs of you posing with said maces in either menacing ways, or in ways where the mace is positioned such that it is casually dangling between your legs as a surrogate penis. Preferably you should be well oiled and wearing as little clothing as possible. Chain mail bikini is a +

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

I think I have some old photographs along those lines, in fact... all except the chain mail bikini.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Well then I think you best get looking for them.