Zombies

[pasithea]

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. one weapon.
2. one song blasting on the speakers.
3. one famous person to fight alongside you.

1) Flail. Definitely. Hard to break, easy to use, shatters bones. Swords will go dull, possibly break or fail to cut through dried leathery skin. Guns run out of bullets. Maces have less inertia. Yeah. Definitely flail. Quarter staff in a pinch.

2) Something totally inappropriate to the situation to give it a really odd vibe. Maybe Tiny Tim singing 'Tiptoe through the Tulips' or something like that.

3) Count Dracula. Better to be an eternally beautiful vampire with my mind intact and superhuman strength to rip the zombies apart than to be a mindless zombie. And if there's zombies in the world, why not vampires? Though I'd settle for Merlin or anyone with a starship.

Comments

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

Just to recap, while we were walking around the streets of Chinatown, I came up with:

1. One of those big rescue saws with the huge circular blade.

2. Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries.'

3. TV's Frank. This is the most important element, of course, for besides providing the requisite deadpan solemnity to the occasion, Frank will in fact be singing the aforementioned 'Ride' while I'm chopping zombies into easy-to-store pieces.

If I thought about it for more than ten seconds, I might be able to come up with something more clever, but I'm feeling too lazy.

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Wow, that rescue saw is going to make a *mess* better check with the DM to make sure if it's ok if you also get to have one of your gas masks on.

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

I don't know about that... it would lower visibility. In that case I'd need to have a full rubber outfit on, with lots of bulbous regions, all greased up in silicone, so the zombies couldn't get a purchase on my body with their grimy claws. *nods*

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Well, at the very least, when you're sawing a zombies head in half, make sure you keep your mouth closed tightly in concentration, rather than opening it to whoop exuberantly, because zombie saw dust has got to taste disgusting.