Zombies

[pasithea]

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. one weapon.
2. one song blasting on the speakers.
3. one famous person to fight alongside you.

1) Flail. Definitely. Hard to break, easy to use, shatters bones. Swords will go dull, possibly break or fail to cut through dried leathery skin. Guns run out of bullets. Maces have less inertia. Yeah. Definitely flail. Quarter staff in a pinch.

2) Something totally inappropriate to the situation to give it a really odd vibe. Maybe Tiny Tim singing 'Tiptoe through the Tulips' or something like that.

3) Count Dracula. Better to be an eternally beautiful vampire with my mind intact and superhuman strength to rip the zombies apart than to be a mindless zombie. And if there's zombies in the world, why not vampires? Though I'd settle for Merlin or anyone with a starship.

Comments

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

A mace is a pretty good choice and you're right about the problems with the chain on the flail, though honestly I wouldn't want zombies close to me so the extra required range isn't a bad thing. Also, with the head not directly attached to the handle, it's easier to use it jam a door or that sort of thing. Plus you can build up inertia by swinging it in circles so I'm imagining it's a little better if you're fatigued.

I suppose though, that I am overlooking the possibilities of weapons made with modern materials. even though they're rotting, one presumes zombies need muscles and a nervous system to animate. Risen gas would destroy their brains and probably stop them. Or you could get a sword that has a carbon-fiber core and replacable tungensten-steel dimond-edged blades (Brittle but sharp) Would cut through them like warm butter and probably stay pretty sharp. But if we're going to talk about ridiculous blade weapons, might as well go with a lightsabre.

A mace, club, baseball bat, crowbar, or something similar should be available just about everywhere. Actually, except for being unweildly, a crowbar is a pretty good weapon. Nearly unbreakable. Hard and heavy with a narrow profile for maximum PSI. It'd break bones nicely. Unscrew the handle from a fireplace poker and wrap a bunch of tape around the handle and you've probably got about the best weapon possible for fighting zombies. It has a strong steel bar to break bone and an end to jab with and a 'pick' if you wanted to try just penetrating their skulls. Though I guess that's basically a flanged mace, more or less. :)

Hmm. Well. If I can't have Dracula, as I said in Paka's journal. Danny DeVito is a good choice. He always plays the sleazy character who gets killed in the movie so by raw body counts, he'd up your chances of survival. :)

Practically speaking, of course, the best famous person you could have with you is George Bush. He's such a momma's boy that you know he'd have a hundred secret servicemen nearby and if not... At least you'd have a chance to see him torn apart by zombies. :)

Your third choice for famous person

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

Ooh, George Bush, the zombies wouldn't be able to smell his brains, he might have a real tactical advantage there!

Re: Your third choice for famous person

[doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com]

You can't smell rocks.

Re: Your third choice for famous person

[murrypurryfurry.livejournal.com]

Unless they are made of sulfur :(

Re: Your third choice for famous person

[ff00ff.livejournal.com]

That was the implication, doodles, yes.