Then suddenly...

[pasithea]

Out of the blue, God comes up with this great idea! Hey Abraham! I want you to change your name, move to detroit, and hack off part of your weener! I swear! It'll be cool dude! If you love me, you'll do it!

17:11 And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall
be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.



*pounds head against desk* This doesn't make any SENSE! God is like some angsty teen-ager that gets stoned, then goes ape-shit when he runs out of Captain Crunch.

Also, what is Genesis? Is it like the Cliff Notes version of the rest of the book or what?


I remember all these long ass bible stories I read as a child. Where are those? At least those were coherent stories. This is just stupid beyond belief.

Comments

[kyhwana.livejournal.com]

Hey, Canaan is the jews' forever, because god said so!

[paka.livejournal.com]

Have you gotten to the point where Abraham has some angels over as guests and he gives 'em this incredibly non-kosher stuff to eat, yet?

The explanation I heard for the foreskin thing is that, cleanliness aside (they obsess about baths later on, and these guys had enough contact with India that the urbanized guys definitely could have cleaned their wangs if they had to), this is a really easy way to differentiate one tribe from the next, including on the battlefield.

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

including on the battlefield

Great... Now I have all the figures of the bible running around like Den in my head, raging into battle with their pendulous cocks swinging to an fro.

[tayefeth.livejournal.com]

I remember all these long ass bible stories I read as a child. Where are those? At least those were coherent stories.

Could they have been Pearl S. Buck's Bible Stories? I read those as a kid. God comes across as far saner and kinder in those than in the actual Bible.