What's wrong with me?
Mar. 18th, 2010 03:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pasitheaI feel unpopular and unaccomplished.
Posting this feels like I'm whining at people to pay attention to me so I can be a magical special snowflake.
I _do_ want to be a magical special snowflake. I'd be lying if I said otherwise.. But more than that, I want to understand what it is in me that keeps me from making many friends and drives away the few that I do manage to get.
Most often, when I'm alone, I'm happy. I could work on art and write to myself and build things almost endlessly but when I hit moments where I'm between projects or I can't work on my own things (like at work) I start to fade. I want to talk with people, share ideas, learn new things. I want to be stimulated by something external to myself. Books, tv, and all that are nice but they're one-way communication devices. I can't easily ask them questions or tell them about something they made me think of.
Wish I knew how to have and keep friends. All the stuff they teach you as a child about how to be a 'good person' does not seem to make one likable. Or maybe it's just me. :/
Posting this feels like I'm whining at people to pay attention to me so I can be a magical special snowflake.
I _do_ want to be a magical special snowflake. I'd be lying if I said otherwise.. But more than that, I want to understand what it is in me that keeps me from making many friends and drives away the few that I do manage to get.
Most often, when I'm alone, I'm happy. I could work on art and write to myself and build things almost endlessly but when I hit moments where I'm between projects or I can't work on my own things (like at work) I start to fade. I want to talk with people, share ideas, learn new things. I want to be stimulated by something external to myself. Books, tv, and all that are nice but they're one-way communication devices. I can't easily ask them questions or tell them about something they made me think of.
Wish I knew how to have and keep friends. All the stuff they teach you as a child about how to be a 'good person' does not seem to make one likable. Or maybe it's just me. :/
