*dar

[pasithea]

Over the last few days I've made a sort of interesting observation. I'm always hearing people talk about Gaydar (IE: The ability to spot other gay people at a distance) and I've always thought that it was really more of an assumption based on visual cues the person was putting out. Recently I've gathered a little more evidence to support this and now I find the interesting question I am asking is who many cues does it take for one to be convinced someone else is in their subculture.
I'm going to extrapolate from 'gaydar' to 'subculture sense'. Because Stacey wrecked the car, I've been bicycling to work. I wear predominately earthtnes and black and dress somewhat conservatively anyhow. Because it's cold and I'm bicycling, I've taken to wearing a headscarf under my bicycle helmet. It keeps my hair from getting tangled and keeps the wind out of my ears (I get bad earaches otherwise) So.. Unlike when I did this riding the motorcycle, I'm removing my helmet in a public space now and staying outside in the cold so I have not been taking off the scarf.
What makes this interesting is that I live in a neighborhood with a strong muslim presence. Combined with the other attributes of my dress, the scarf seems to make me ping on their radar. I've noticed lots more curious glances from middle-eastern men than ever in the past. there's a weird sort of non-verbal communication thing that happens with this. I feel them looking, I give a glance back to say 'I'm not' and it gets understood and they stop looking at me. This has happened about 8 times in 3 days so it's more than coincidence and really kind of fascinating. White people have not changed the amount they look at me. Much like gay subculture, the cues aren't relevant to another subculture so it doesn't garner any additional interest.
Of course, these are just my observations and I could be totally off-base but it is an interesting thing to speculate on. Next time I catch myself glancing at someone and wondering about them, I'll take a more in-depth look at what drew my attention to them.

-Sammi

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I felt I had a sort of 'abused child/incest survivor' radar but that is more because so often we are screwed up in the same way. So I am aware of the cues, of what alerts me to the other ones out there.

Anything else though? COMPLETELY CLUELESS.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

I get subculture looks in most Indian supermarkets for my short hair and western dress. More of a Tsk, Bad Girl thing.
Paka was clueless until I laughed about it. And there is less of it when I am shopping with him, since at least I am being obviously domestic.

[centauress.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I just get absolutely shocked looks, myself.

'You want wha?'

Compared to me, you look downright local ^-^

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Paka and I get that at Korean food places.

Beef soup please
Beef soup?
Yes, number (#)
You sure you'll like that?
I'm sure I'd like to try it.
Number (#)?
Please
OOooooookay (doubtful sounding)

Halfway through the meal

Soup okay?
The soup is good, thank you
You like it?
Yes
Chinese, Korean even Japanese people like that. Not other people. Its okay for you?
Yes, I like it.
Really?
Yes
You sure?
Yes
Ohhh ok

And, in last night's case, she was out with a DIFFERENT kind of soup to see if the crazy white people would like that too. It was good.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I always felt akward where I used to live if I was dressed like a slob or something. Even if women weren't frum, they were still neatly dressed. It was very odd. That, and walking around when people try to talk to me in Russian (a few times a month at least). It's weird when it is the case of being around a group that 'looks' like everyone else, and people are trying to feel their way around.

Kind of like I sort of smiled as big as I could to two very Italian looking older men. It was a feeling of 'one of us' and having to recognize that yes, I am one, too. And they smiled back, even if I may not look it. (The Irish Italian Brooklyn interwoven Catholic dance thing is WEIRD.)

I think sometimes we WANT to find more of 'us'. A camraderie, as it were. If I heard an American accent overseas, near wherever I was living (as opposed to when I went on trips) I would get VERY excited. A possible friend, just because they may have spent enough time in the country I was born in, to pick up an accent. Or even seeing a pentacle on someone's neck, or a harp on someone's lapel. Just something to make that connection.

[zeeth_kyrah]

It's too bad I'm utterly clueless about stuff like this, at least in person. My one great defense against social harm turned into my one great social failing during high school, and it hasn't gotten much better since.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

Subtle cues happen everywhere. How about dragondar?

"But, above all, there just seems to be something undefinable
about true dragons that other dragons can instantly pick up on. As early as the first or second post or e-mail a newbie makes, true dragons can
tell you whether he or she is serious about draconity."

You pick up things out of the corner of your eye, or the corner of your mind, that you just don't always pick up looking straight on. Little badges of subliminal significance. Turns of metaphor, subtelties of motion.

[centauress.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I'd ascribe that to something unique or not. I see the same thing in lots of fandoms... There's those who focus one way, and others who don't.

When it comes to an identity, I think all those points really come across as someone who's comfortable with themselves as they're presenting to the group, rather than unique to dragons or whatnot.

I always feel like it's easier to talk to someone who's more stable like that... There's no pressure to validate with the same speed, or whatnot.