Soloing in the dark
Jan. 31st, 2009 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pasitheaLast night, I tried using ArtRage again for making a fairly complex piece. I was really enjoying the brushes and such but then it decided it couldn't save files anymore and to make a long story short, I lost about 2 hours of work and was very very very unhappy. So... I decided to get away from my computer. Take a walk and do something else for a while. It was only about 10:30 at night so I took my flute, walked over to the park and played for a while. I like playing outdoors more than in my apartment as I'm more willing to really cut loose and play with wild abandon.
I'm still pretty timid about playing around other people. Outside is nice because I can start somewhere far enough away to not be annoying and if people like it, they'll generally ask me to keep playing or come closer to the group, or I'll build up my confidence enough that I can play well in front of others.
Of course, there aren't a lot of people in the park at 10PM on a Friday night, and it was cold. I was wearing fingerless gloves, but with an open-key flute, I really couldn't play too long before I had to stop and warm my hands and I found I really wanted the social aspect of it as well. *sigh* There really just isn't any place around here where I can have that. I guess I could spend an hour each way driving to Santa Cruz or San Francisco, but that really kind of defeats the purpose of a spontaneous performance. Also, it'd be sort of weird if people thought I was homeless and started offering money. I want to play just for the sake of playing and I'd rather they give their money to someone who actually needs it. Perhaps I could put up a sign to the effect of "Leave what you want, take what you need." That might be a pretty cool gesture. I wonder how well it would work.
Of course, there are still the problems of staying warm and of being in a place where playing an instrument or drawing is acceptable to the people around you. The whole purpose of playing publicly to me is for enjoyment, not anger. I think this is an aspect of my childhood that I truly miss. Historical re-enactments provided exactly this sort of space. Everyone had their camps and cooking fires but there was also a central camp fire where people would sit and talk, read, drink, sing, play music, carve, sew, knit, etc. It was beautiful and perfect and if you were learning something, there'd be someone who'd be there who would give you advice and direction or at least some ideas to work with. Or maybe you'd share your ideas with someone else. Most of the winter camps would have a central lodge or an old outpost or fort of some type where people would dance and share in similar types of entertainment. Modern mainstream society seems to be deeply lacking in this sort of village lifestyle and it's a shame. We're social creatures and it's really a perfect arrangement. You have a small personal space where you keep your things and spend your private time, and then a common area where you can interact with others.
I suppose some of the hippie commune-villages and artist retreats were like this too, but I like my job. I like technology. Unlike most of my friends who don't seem to be able to go an hour away from a computer or phone without getting the shakes, I like to get away from it too. I love my computer in terms of the art, animation, and other things I can do on it, but it vastly limits my ability for social interaction while using it. Presently, it faces a wall. That cuts me off from other people in the room. I can't focus on it and other people at the same time because they're behind me. Turning it around would take up too much of the room, and working strictly on the laptop would limit my screen space. I like to work big. Also, because of the keyboard and tablet, even a laptop takes up an inordinate amount of space. If only there were an affordable 20" Mac tablet computer or something. Heh. Probably will be in time, but not for a while yet.
There is a 24hr social spot, of course. I tried that last night. I set up a microphone and wandered into SecondLife, but I ran into three problems that really made things not work. The first is just that the place is SO freaking big and the search capability so limited, that you can't easily find a good place to just be. I sent off an internal e-mail with observations on that. Who knows. Maybe some day I'll get done fixing bugs and get back to work on creative projects. That'd be nice. Second... The easiest to find public areas are populated with some of the most pathetic and ignorant people on the planet. Seriously, I don't know why the Welcome areas aren't regularly cleansed with fire. I visited three welcome areas and in all of them, the words "cunt, nigger, whore, and faggot" were uttered at least 5 times per minute. It was incredibly depressing to me. I work on SL because of all the amazing things it could and will be. This great tool for learning, understanding, and communication. But no. The first experience you're going to have on SecondLife is a cess pool with a bunch of ignorant buffoons trying to prove how studly they are by acting like jackasses to anyone they meet. Last, of course, when I did finally find a place with some people who weren't totally abominable, I met someone who was playing bass guitar and, while what we were playing would have sounded fantastic together, because of the delays in voice, it was completely impossible for us to do a jam session. Not much that can be done about that, really. We'd have to have some method of doing a direct connect to each other and then one would have to do a mix and sendup of the output and that's assuming our direct-connect was fast enough. Not SecondLife's fault, just a limitation of technology and a bit of a bummer.
So... Yeah... I think this is why I've been reveling in stuff like weekend-long raves in the woods, Burning Man, and conventions. They provide me a temporary 'village' in the same way that historical re-enactments did. I just wish spaces like that were more frequent and accessible. I suppose what I wish most is that I lived in a village styled commune, but damnit... I want one that's convenient to bus and train lines and I want a place with a very particular quality of people and I'm not sure I can ever find that.
I'd settle for a really hip indie coffee shop, like Pergolesi used to be in Santa Cruz, but even that seems to be too much to ask for these days. Nothing around here is open past 11, and nothing has outdoor space. :(
I'm still pretty timid about playing around other people. Outside is nice because I can start somewhere far enough away to not be annoying and if people like it, they'll generally ask me to keep playing or come closer to the group, or I'll build up my confidence enough that I can play well in front of others.
Of course, there aren't a lot of people in the park at 10PM on a Friday night, and it was cold. I was wearing fingerless gloves, but with an open-key flute, I really couldn't play too long before I had to stop and warm my hands and I found I really wanted the social aspect of it as well. *sigh* There really just isn't any place around here where I can have that. I guess I could spend an hour each way driving to Santa Cruz or San Francisco, but that really kind of defeats the purpose of a spontaneous performance. Also, it'd be sort of weird if people thought I was homeless and started offering money. I want to play just for the sake of playing and I'd rather they give their money to someone who actually needs it. Perhaps I could put up a sign to the effect of "Leave what you want, take what you need." That might be a pretty cool gesture. I wonder how well it would work.
Of course, there are still the problems of staying warm and of being in a place where playing an instrument or drawing is acceptable to the people around you. The whole purpose of playing publicly to me is for enjoyment, not anger. I think this is an aspect of my childhood that I truly miss. Historical re-enactments provided exactly this sort of space. Everyone had their camps and cooking fires but there was also a central camp fire where people would sit and talk, read, drink, sing, play music, carve, sew, knit, etc. It was beautiful and perfect and if you were learning something, there'd be someone who'd be there who would give you advice and direction or at least some ideas to work with. Or maybe you'd share your ideas with someone else. Most of the winter camps would have a central lodge or an old outpost or fort of some type where people would dance and share in similar types of entertainment. Modern mainstream society seems to be deeply lacking in this sort of village lifestyle and it's a shame. We're social creatures and it's really a perfect arrangement. You have a small personal space where you keep your things and spend your private time, and then a common area where you can interact with others.
I suppose some of the hippie commune-villages and artist retreats were like this too, but I like my job. I like technology. Unlike most of my friends who don't seem to be able to go an hour away from a computer or phone without getting the shakes, I like to get away from it too. I love my computer in terms of the art, animation, and other things I can do on it, but it vastly limits my ability for social interaction while using it. Presently, it faces a wall. That cuts me off from other people in the room. I can't focus on it and other people at the same time because they're behind me. Turning it around would take up too much of the room, and working strictly on the laptop would limit my screen space. I like to work big. Also, because of the keyboard and tablet, even a laptop takes up an inordinate amount of space. If only there were an affordable 20" Mac tablet computer or something. Heh. Probably will be in time, but not for a while yet.
There is a 24hr social spot, of course. I tried that last night. I set up a microphone and wandered into SecondLife, but I ran into three problems that really made things not work. The first is just that the place is SO freaking big and the search capability so limited, that you can't easily find a good place to just be. I sent off an internal e-mail with observations on that. Who knows. Maybe some day I'll get done fixing bugs and get back to work on creative projects. That'd be nice. Second... The easiest to find public areas are populated with some of the most pathetic and ignorant people on the planet. Seriously, I don't know why the Welcome areas aren't regularly cleansed with fire. I visited three welcome areas and in all of them, the words "cunt, nigger, whore, and faggot" were uttered at least 5 times per minute. It was incredibly depressing to me. I work on SL because of all the amazing things it could and will be. This great tool for learning, understanding, and communication. But no. The first experience you're going to have on SecondLife is a cess pool with a bunch of ignorant buffoons trying to prove how studly they are by acting like jackasses to anyone they meet. Last, of course, when I did finally find a place with some people who weren't totally abominable, I met someone who was playing bass guitar and, while what we were playing would have sounded fantastic together, because of the delays in voice, it was completely impossible for us to do a jam session. Not much that can be done about that, really. We'd have to have some method of doing a direct connect to each other and then one would have to do a mix and sendup of the output and that's assuming our direct-connect was fast enough. Not SecondLife's fault, just a limitation of technology and a bit of a bummer.
So... Yeah... I think this is why I've been reveling in stuff like weekend-long raves in the woods, Burning Man, and conventions. They provide me a temporary 'village' in the same way that historical re-enactments did. I just wish spaces like that were more frequent and accessible. I suppose what I wish most is that I lived in a village styled commune, but damnit... I want one that's convenient to bus and train lines and I want a place with a very particular quality of people and I'm not sure I can ever find that.
I'd settle for a really hip indie coffee shop, like Pergolesi used to be in Santa Cruz, but even that seems to be too much to ask for these days. Nothing around here is open past 11, and nothing has outdoor space. :(
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Date: 2009-02-01 03:02 am (UTC)