Child abuse

[pasithea]

I hardly ever talk about trans issues anymore. I got done with transition and had surgery about a decade ago and my life became pretty happy and stable. There are still twits on the internet who like to bash trans* people but they hold so little power that they don't really affect me.

Since I hurt my foot, I've been driving to/from work and I listened to NPR on the way home today. Here's a link to the text of the article: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90247842

I made it home before I broke down and cried. Writing about it now, the tears come anew. Stuff doesn't usually hurt me but I was that child, Bradley, and I know what it felt like for me. Abused, alone, full of self hate, burned out, and dead inside. I tried to shut it off for a while, but then I thought maybe it was better to let myself hurt. If I could let other people understand that hurt, maybe I could stop it. Maybe some other child wouldn't have to go through the kind of Hell that this one is going through; that I lived in for so long.

So... Lucky you. You get to hear me sniffle and cry. I lack the writing skill to make people understand, but maybe you can hear it in the crack of voice and choked back tears. Maybe just maybe someone will understand how much it hurt and (when I think about my past) how much it still hurts.

I expect somehow this will end up all over the internet for people like Ilthuian to laugh at and make fun of, but I don't really care. They're too small to hurt me and if it makes even one parent have a second thought about killing their own child inside, then it's been worth it.

So.. Here you go. For the first time ever, dv_girl raw and unedited. http://squirrel.twu.net/zucker.ogg

Comments

[anaisdjuna.livejournal.com]

Awww honey. I'm so sorry to hear of the hurt you've suffered. I wasn't able to hear your audio on my mac. Maybe next time I'm at a PC I can hear. I'd like to hear your story and your thoughts.

I know how much abuse hurts. Mine was different. My gender issues less clear cut.

If it makes you feel better... I can point you to a good story about a transgendered person supported, respected and loved by her family.

I was at a furry convention and I noticed this very hot female person who looks astounding ly like another hot French female person I knew when I lived in France. Finally, I spoke to her briefly and she was cool and she was like ... yeah friend me on El J. She's open to that and is very open on her El J and her own website about her transition. Her name is desireementil You should check out her El J and her site. She has posts lots of saucy pix of herself now; as well as pictures of herself throughout her life. Her story is quite moving and she's a smart kid who writes well. I read her whole El J. The most touching bit was a letter she posted from her mother talking about how proud she is of her daughter and how lovely a woman she's become. There's also a cool picture of her mother with her in the room before she had her surgery holding her hand as she gives a thumbs up with the other.

I hope this story of a child who wasn't abused, but was loved and supported and guided through her transition brings you hope and soothes a bit. I do believe things are changing - albeit too slowly....

Warm Hugs,
Adj.