pasithea | Child abuse

Current Mood: crushed

Entry tags:

trans

Child abuse

I hardly ever talk about trans issues anymore. I got done with transition and had surgery about a decade ago and my life became pretty happy and stable. There are still twits on the internet who like to bash trans* people but they hold so little power that they don't really affect me.

Since I hurt my foot, I've been driving to/from work and I listened to NPR on the way home today. Here's a link to the text of the article: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90247842

I made it home before I broke down and cried. Writing about it now, the tears come anew. Stuff doesn't usually hurt me but I was that child, Bradley, and I know what it felt like for me. Abused, alone, full of self hate, burned out, and dead inside. I tried to shut it off for a while, but then I thought maybe it was better to let myself hurt. If I could let other people understand that hurt, maybe I could stop it. Maybe some other child wouldn't have to go through the kind of Hell that this one is going through; that I lived in for so long.

So... Lucky you. You get to hear me sniffle and cry. I lack the writing skill to make people understand, but maybe you can hear it in the crack of voice and choked back tears. Maybe just maybe someone will understand how much it hurt and (when I think about my past) how much it still hurts.

I expect somehow this will end up all over the internet for people like Ilthuian to laugh at and make fun of, but I don't really care. They're too small to hurt me and if it makes even one parent have a second thought about killing their own child inside, then it's been worth it.

So.. Here you go. For the first time ever, dv_girl raw and unedited. http://squirrel.twu.net/zucker.ogg

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You know. I also want to point out the hidden racism in Zucker's statement. The implication here is that he'd suggest segregation for the child, that they not associate with any white people. Consider the implications if the child were adopted into a white family. What about a child of mixed heritage? Obviously those don't exist in Zucker's mind. Even his apples-to-oranges comparison doesn't really hold up to any scrutiny.

Apart from that it's like--HELLO--sexual differentiation in the body is completely different than how racial traits develop! There isn't a part of development where the body goes, "Hmm, so should we go white or black?"

Sexual development "screws up" and crosses the gender binary on its own. It's a pretty tiny stretch to include sexual orientation and identity within that realm of fluctuation, and the only reasons medical science hasn't been investigating these links is because of incredibly strong, institutionalized cultural biases.

To think that a DOCTOR of all people would try to relate differences in sexual development to racial traits is beyond me...

*nod* It's as if he doesn't seem to know that there is a significant percentage of XY females and XX men in the world who are not transgendered or intersexed. There isn't anything we can point to and say, "This will absolutely make one male or female." The only part of his comparison that may be remotely valid is that binary gender is as much a myth and social construct as 'race' and 'nationality' are. We're all just people.

And if you step outside the human animal, the picture becomes even more obviously weird. A good number of insects, fish, reptiles, and amphibians can physically change their sex in their adult form. Naked mole rats are more less genderless except for their queen whose hormones rule them all. Stuff like that.

The only part of his comparison that may be remotely valid is that binary gender is as much a myth and social construct as 'race' and 'nationality' are.

And the difference there is that one analogy is referring to physical/brain development, whereas the other is referring to social prejudice. Comparisons to race usually make sense within the context of social injustice, but not the other!

And if you step outside the human animal, the picture becomes even more obviously weird.

There's a theory that might be gaining legs in the not too distant future, that relates homosexuality and other "non-reproductive" members of humanity to the role-division seen in other species. The "superorganism" concept, except we're in the very early stages of adopting it. Considering gay couples are typically better parents, it's not much of a surprise to me XD

actually in some cases, homosexuality is not even "non-reproductive" as in the cases of species with type 2 males which appear to be attracted to the type 1 males and that attraction leads to reproduction of type 2 males, not an attraction to the females....so yeah, gender and sexuality ARE far more complex than previously thought.

correct...the thing is, if a black kid acts like the dominant white culture, they are never taken to a doctor to find out what's wrong because it is seen as desirable behavior. The child never has to confront their identity. Just like some girls who emulate boyish behavior don't have to be seen by a doctor because it's seen as normal for girls to envy boys, but because it's seen as shameful for a boy to identify with girls, it is defined as a problem.

Since I had already loaded the file into Audacity, I converted it to mono and saved as MP3. Would you like a copy?

I read and listened to everything. I liked hearing your voice, and have nothing relevant to say.

Awww honey. I'm so sorry to hear of the hurt you've suffered. I wasn't able to hear your audio on my mac. Maybe next time I'm at a PC I can hear. I'd like to hear your story and your thoughts.

I know how much abuse hurts. Mine was different. My gender issues less clear cut.

If it makes you feel better... I can point you to a good story about a transgendered person supported, respected and loved by her family.

I was at a furry convention and I noticed this very hot female person who looks astounding ly like another hot French female person I knew when I lived in France. Finally, I spoke to her briefly and she was cool and she was like ... yeah friend me on El J. She's open to that and is very open on her El J and her own website about her transition. Her name is

desireementil You should check out her El J and her site. She has posts lots of saucy pix of herself now; as well as pictures of herself throughout her life. Her story is quite moving and she's a smart kid who writes well. I read her whole El J. The most touching bit was a letter she posted from her mother talking about how proud she is of her daughter and how lovely a woman she's become. There's also a cool picture of her mother with her in the room before she had her surgery holding her hand as she gives a thumbs up with the other.

I hope this story of a child who wasn't abused, but was loved and supported and guided through her transition brings you hope and soothes a bit. I do believe things are changing - albeit too slowly....

Warm Hugs,
Adj.

...

Gah. I want to hunt down those parents and that doctor and hurt them now. I'm so sorry that you know too well what Bradley is going through.

Oh, that article was so disturbing :(

The video didn't load, though. *hugs*

I have been listening to it myself, I was rather disgusted with this guy, and do hope that the exposure and comparison that comes will slowly change the way children and other young people with these problems are helped for the better.

*sighs and sends hugs*

Where the article upsets you as a "trans" thing, the article upsets me as a "male" thing and a "child" thing.

These kids Zucker is looking at, are they actually transgendered? I don't know enough to judge technically. I don't know gender stuff that well, but I kinda figure some of these kids are well and truly boys, just boys who don't fit the hearty-team-sports stereotype. What I do know is these are children who have child bodies and minds rather than adult ones. Whatever gender they actually are, I just see children having their childhood taken from them so that the adults can get what they want.

People would be horrified by the idea of parents handing their kid over to another adult to anally rape them; why isn't there more outrage over the idea that this pushy adult authority gets to mentally rape kids with impunity?

The second part of the series discusses hormone therapy to delay puberty and then induce opposite bodily-sex puberty.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90273278

I grew up with no definite gender identity and no backlash for adopting aspects that were considered masculine because of near complete isolation from my age group growing up so I can't imagine growing up in an enviroment so actively opposed to any deviation from a societal gender norm. All I can offer is a hug and happiness that you have finally who you wanted to be.

that you did not die, completely. i am honored to count you among my friends.
As a parent, i ... almost understand where they are coming from. The need to protect a child, even from himself, is a strong one. But where my understanding fails is how anyone allows their own prejudices, their own deliberate ignorance, to blind them to the damage they are doing to that child. That is not love, that is not parenting. That is putting the needs of the parent ahead of the needs of the child.
And, no, it did not sound stupid. It simply sounded honest. Completely unlike a rehearsed hollywood confession, completely unlike a cry for attention.
You have, always had my utmost respect. Today, i remember why. Thank you.

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I have no idea of how hard it was for you.....

i am glad...