Damn you internet. :(

[pasithea]

I needed to get my hair cut before next week. The last two places I've been to have been okay but not really fantastic and I was looking for something a little bit better.

So... There's yelp.com and for the San Jose area, the top-listed place is JulieQ's and it's literally like 500 feet from my office. Great, I think! I go.

I am wearing low-rider jeans, a studded belt, and a baseball shirt. My hair is faded but still quite obviously a very unnatural fluorescent color.

I say: 'Give me something wild and hot. Go crazy!'

She starts by shaving the back of my neck. Off to a good start, I think. I can't fucking see an inch without my glasses, so haircuts are always a surprise when they're done.

This one was no exception... After an hour of cutting and combing and blow-drying, I put my glasses back on and I see Hillary Clinton... Then the horror sets in. That isn't Hillary Clinton. That's me.

I guess that is crazy. I never would have expected it. Fuck.

I think that maybe once I wash it and spike it, it'll come out okay but no. I still really dislike it this morning. The way it's cut is a shape that's very contrary to my head. :(

So THANKS yelp.com I'm sure if I were a dullish soccer mom who suddenly wanted a career as a real-estate agent, I too would be delighted with this place! FANTASTIC! It's cheap and they massage your scalp and treat you like a pretty pretty princess! oohohohohooooh! In retrospect, the TV blaring with the idiotic soap operas should probably have been a big clue that this wasn't the place for me. I just didn't expect that everyone who posts on yelp is a middle-aged secretary.

Damn it. I don't even really have time to find someplace else to go and get it straightened out. Maybe I'll just shave my fucking head.

Oh, and for the beauticians out there... Use a little common sense. If someone is dressed like a fucking punk and says 'I want something crazy' so you really REALLY think they want a haircut that says, "Time to hop in the minivan and pick up the kids!"

Comments

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

Obviously, the woman you got has different definitions of "crazy" than you. Or has none.

[barberio.livejournal.com]

Well, relatively speaking, giving a soccer mom cut to a punkgrrl was crazy wasn't it?

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

Crazy in the 'I might get my nose broken for doing this' kind of way.

[paka.livejournal.com]

Maybe if it's a punk minivan. I mean, you can stuff a whole drum set, a keyboard, and a batch of musicians in a minivan.

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

Fill your hair with gel and scrunch it up, and/or shave the sides.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I WANT A PICTURE. Before you get it fixed. PLEASE!

*I am laughing my ass off here*

[yetanotherbob.livejournal.com]

Picture request seconded. If nothing else, the words, "Hillary Rodham Linden" keep playing in my head.

So this calls for shaving, and a really outlandish wig, hunh?

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

I read Frank Zappa's autobiography once, and he described a gig he played early in his career, possibly back in the early sixties; I think it was a party hosted by some local radio station, who advertised it as a "Freakout" and told people to come dressed as freaky as possible!

As Frank described it, the freakiest person there was a twentysomething guy wearing... two different-colored socks.

Freaky!