The Bottom Line
Sep. 1st, 2006 01:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pasitheaReading straight through the bible gives one a new perspective on many a troubling passage.
Leviticus, for instance, the oft-cherry-picked book of the christian right... No matter which passage they chose, they're always ignoring the most important bit. The bottom line:
Lev 27:34 These are the commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses for
the children of Israel in mount Sinai.
This is more clear reading the entire book in one go but there it is. These laws aren't for everyone. They're only for people who have pledged their allegiance to this God. It doesn't apply to 'pagans' You have to have sworn yourself to Yeehaw in order for these rules to matter to you at all. Some things you're supposed to be killed for (with that same wording as the apple in eden again) but this is a book of gratuitous changes. Those little extra rules about divorce for instance. Nice touch, Jimmah! I'd be willing to bet that in the original texts they're worded exactly the same as every other passage around them. 'It's an abomination and you'll be unclean for some period of time.'
Other interesting things I picked up. 'Abomination'... It means 'risk'. Eat uncooked meat that's been sitting around for 3 days. It's an abomination. Same with pork and shelfish. If you eat it, you're running a risk and you may end up temporarily or permanently unclean because of it.
All the stuff about dealing with plague was really interesting and unlike most of the rest of the book, wasn't terribly repetative. It's little wonder the jews faired better in the plagues of the dark ages than the christians did (and were subsequently blamed for starting them)
For the funniest line in old levity, I nominate:
13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
Although I'll probably never be able to look at a fundamentalist again and not be tempted to shout, "WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE GOATS!"
God apparently REALLY likes setting goats on fire. That sick little monkey!
I'll pick up with Numbers tomorrow.
So far, this has been pretty darned entertaining!
Leviticus, for instance, the oft-cherry-picked book of the christian right... No matter which passage they chose, they're always ignoring the most important bit. The bottom line:
Lev 27:34 These are the commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses for
the children of Israel in mount Sinai.
This is more clear reading the entire book in one go but there it is. These laws aren't for everyone. They're only for people who have pledged their allegiance to this God. It doesn't apply to 'pagans' You have to have sworn yourself to Yeehaw in order for these rules to matter to you at all. Some things you're supposed to be killed for (with that same wording as the apple in eden again) but this is a book of gratuitous changes. Those little extra rules about divorce for instance. Nice touch, Jimmah! I'd be willing to bet that in the original texts they're worded exactly the same as every other passage around them. 'It's an abomination and you'll be unclean for some period of time.'
Other interesting things I picked up. 'Abomination'... It means 'risk'. Eat uncooked meat that's been sitting around for 3 days. It's an abomination. Same with pork and shelfish. If you eat it, you're running a risk and you may end up temporarily or permanently unclean because of it.
All the stuff about dealing with plague was really interesting and unlike most of the rest of the book, wasn't terribly repetative. It's little wonder the jews faired better in the plagues of the dark ages than the christians did (and were subsequently blamed for starting them)
For the funniest line in old levity, I nominate:
13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
Although I'll probably never be able to look at a fundamentalist again and not be tempted to shout, "WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE GOATS!"
God apparently REALLY likes setting goats on fire. That sick little monkey!
I'll pick up with Numbers tomorrow.
So far, this has been pretty darned entertaining!
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-01 04:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-01 07:16 pm (UTC)Why is there lightening? Zeus must be angry. And sticking your metal sword straight up angers him. So he zaps you. QED.
When one considers that the bible was the world's largest and oldest game of Telephone, this makes even more sense. These were not handed down, they evolved! Especially when you consider the documentary hypothesis which points to the abrupt changes in word choice and voice to indicate multiple authors over time.
Leviticus is not a morals book. It is a guidebook for what Israel needed at the time: A large, healthy population with which to be a nation.
Potential baby lost in a miscarriage done by violence? Well, it's a shame, but if she can still have kids, it's not that big a deal. Pay the fine and don't do it again! Woman having her period? Danger, danger! She can't have kids during this time, so don't bother inseminating her! Your brother is a husband and died without children? Well, get in there, sport, and marry the widow! You'll have to do in preserving the bloodline, because we don't have sperm banks yet!
Homosexual? Note that the mannerisms and lesbianism isn't what's frowned upon. Not at all! It's just that bum loving doesn't produce babies. And yes, I know that's not how it's read, and it's horribly apologist for me to overlook so much and claim it's just people following an outdated owner's manual, but still. Makes sense in a twisted logic sort of way...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-02 04:56 am (UTC)Yes.
Date: 2006-09-01 09:13 pm (UTC)