All we are is dust in the wind

[pasithea]

My nana died today. :( My great grandmother. All my other grandparents are long dead with the exception of one grandmother that I've never been close to. I loved my nana. She was really the only person left in the family that I did care about. In not-so-many-words, my mother did not invite me to the funeral. "Oh, we don't know for sure but it'll be Monday or Tuesday and it's a small town and she wouldn't have wanted you to waste your money." I mentioned I had severence, that I was working whatever hours I wanted right now and I could come. She gave me more reasons not to.

My family died along with my Nana for me. If it weren't for Stacey, Hazel, and a few friends, I'd be alone now. I don't express it a lot but I love and need all of you guys. I'm not a creature that survives well on its own, no matter how aloof I can be at times. So don't anyone else die on me, okay?

I was going to go to the flea market tomorrow but I don't feel up to it now. I bought a turkey and some butternut squash, got potatos green beans and corn and foods that remind me of her, so that's how I'm going to remember her is by cooking. Stupid, I know, but I don't know what else to do.

It's really been a rotten week.

Goodbye Nana. I love you. I miss you.

Comments

[barberio.livejournal.com]

*hug*

*snugs*

[sslaxx.livejournal.com]

That's an awful way for them to treat you. You take care of yourself.

[blackbyrus.livejournal.com]

Your memorial to her is really sweet. *hug*

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

Yay, what nice parents. *hug*

[skyglider.livejournal.com]

*hug* I'm so sorry for your loss. :( And that is not a silly thing to do in tribute to your nana. I think it's ideal. And she's probably smiling at you, wherever she is.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[kynn.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. *snug*

[breisleach.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I think cooking is actually a really good way to remember her. When my Papa died, my family stopped going down to Thanksgiving with his family. In time, I ended up starting to make a habit of going down with my dad to a business meeting with that family the day after. I might not really know any of them, but Thanksgiving was always the big holiday we spent with him, and being able to go and smell and eat all the foods we ate than that only his sisters and their kids knew how to make is really comforting to me.

Besides, they say that scents are one of the strongest memory triggers out there, so it should help you recall all the good things about her.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I'm using my china, that I only have because my Granma got it for me when my Mother had already blown her 'play with daughters like dolls' housenesting wad on my older sister, at a tea for the carribean saint of death, a granma herself. When I toast my Granma, may I include yours? I think cooking all that is a fantastic memorial. And I'm really sorry. Gramna's like that hurt like fuck to lose.
love
-Es

ps: Paka's yowling punk songs in the shower. He'll probably call later.

[chirik.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[zeeth_kyrah]

Not stupid.
If it's what you can do, then do it. Cooking good foods is a wonderful memorial and tribute: sustaining those you love for the sake of those whom you have loved.

[klaatuwolf.livejournal.com]

My condolances, and I'm sorry that the rest of your family is that way towards you.

[voidheart.livejournal.com]

Gina and I love you very much. Always remember that, and that we're too mean to ever die; we will never desert you.

[holophote.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry. I've never had that experience, but my mother has, and when Grandma died, we lost the one good person in my extended family.

Some chains are as strong as their strongest link. Take care.

[lazarian.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your great-grandmother. For whatever reasons your family shunned you, eventually they'll have to face the realisation of their shallowness, even if they don't want to admit it to themselves. It's their loss.

Sorry, I don't really know you well past your animation stuff, but for what it's worth...

[harpygirl.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry for your losses.

[plucky.livejournal.com]

Beautiful caring one, there is no greater tribute than to remember someone through something that you shared with them. I truly understand how you feel about losing your *ahem* family with her passing but family is not just those we were born with, they are also the people that we love and care for even though we might have met them yesterday. Family is people who love you and care for you and are always there for you regardless. That sexy centauress that lives with you is more family than apparently those biologicals are. WE LOVE YOU!!!