pasithea

Last week, I changed the password on Alendria so that I can only log in to her from home. I've noticed that I waste a lot of time arguing with people I don't like when I play her. That plus finally getting done with a lot of this CDF stuff at work has suddenly provided me witha great boon of free time.

I've been doing quick thumbnail motion sketches, mostly floursacks. Pages and pages of them. I finally resolved the issue that had got me so down last night. Say it with me: STAGING Yes, that's right, my whole problem was that I was incompetently trying to do a sigh from a dead-on front view. Try 3/4ths, idiot. Suddenly it's a LOT easier. Ohwell.

Anyhow, it feels like autumn today. Cool and blustery, clouds and a hint of moisture in the air. Cooler than I generally like but nice. I walked over to another part of the campus during lunch and did gesture drawings and caricatures of people passing by. Very quick 10-30second stuff. I should do this more. I filled 12 pages in less than an hour. Illusion of Life is having an affect on me. I used to be nervous about sketching people, trying to 'not get caught'. Today I was more brazen about it. I also found I was mumbling to myself about little things in the character of the person walking past. There was a woman in ill-fitting heels. I know because she had a weak walk and it was obviously uncomfortable. A 'running gag' (A really skinny angular guy who bicycled past about 8 times), a too-thin japanese girl wearing a top that was too tight across the back (you could tell by the stiff way she moved her shoulders) and so on. I spend too much time in my little lair. I should get out more.

On weekends, my train pass is good all the way to the end of the line. There's nothing to stop me from going up to the city and people-watching, though perhaps it might be better to find some place less crowded and with good lines of sight, though I suppose I could sit in one of the parks or something. I could make a ritual of it. Go to the city on Sunday and people-watch. Or maybe I'd do better somewhere closer to home? I now live close enough to mountain view that it's an easy bike ride. It's a little more interesting than downtown Sunnyvale (largely because it has a book store) For that matter. I think I'll skip studying right outside my apartment. Too personal and people are more likely to be curious. Perhaps I could walk up to El Camino and people-watch there. There's a bench for the bus and a fair number of people walk past and there's a good long line of sight so I could get more detailed drawings.

I guess I have a few reservations about forging into the outside world. 1) I tend to bleed money when I go outside the house. Buy a drink or lunch or a book or all three and I've spent money that I wouldn't have at home. Just getting into the habit of doing it is also a problem. It's like planning ahead. I tend to wake up int he morning full of ideas and inspiration and on my days off, I can go to work on that. Days for big projects are good. Also, would I get any work done, or would I go, "Oooh! I've never seen this store before!"? I can be very distractable. I might waste my time exploring instead of studying. Lastly, of course, I wouldn't want to go alone but friends add unpredictability, not to mention the potential for inclimate weather conditions. Still. The idea of people watching and discussing with a friend has a lot of appeal to it for me. Maybe I should try it. I wonder if the idea will still be in my head by Sunday. :/

On a related note, I think I need to be less ashamed of the work I do, or at least less secretive. I should go to the lab at school more and not sit in the back corner of the room. I might also impose upon Jon more and get him to offer suggestions for what I'm doing. While I don't completely buy the Instant God stories in Illusion of Life I think that discussing work with one another probably advanced their skills tons more than any class. When I pause to think about it a moment, I think this is a lot of the problem with things now. It's not just me that is competitive. Everyone is competitive. To be anyone, you have to be the best, you have to not share ideas with others because they might steal your brilliance. Screw comradery! You don't want to be bussing tables for the rest of your life, do you? *sigh* I think this is the mindset that's going on in a lot of people.
The market for animation is so tight that the very thing tha tmight really advance someone's skills is something they're most likely to avoid. (Well, and not to mention, it now seems to be largely the domain of nerds who are shy and secretive anyhow). You know though, I've got a new crutch and I'm not afraid to use it! (Gosh is this rambling!) I have fluorescent purple hair and that means I _can't_ hide in the corner of the room anymore and I can't stealthily try to draw people without them knowing. I AM NOT A NINJA! I like being a pretty an exotic thing and it's a good excuse to get outside more just so I can be gawked at, and it's a good excuse to draw brazenly and stare at people, and it's a great excuse to hang out in the lab and argue with classmates about art. So. I've got purple hair damnit! I'm going people watching! Who wants to come with me?