Spam mail?
Apr. 19th, 2010 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pasithea... I think I just got the best spam mail ever.
It had no links or images associated with it (or possibly they were just stripped out by my mail server) I guess it's just a viral marketing attempt by $STORE. Anyhow, here's what it was:
I won't tell you how many of these I've done but it is a non-zero number. Also other shenanigans. It's a shame, $STORE. Your viral marketing might almost have worked on me except you're a big slimy scumbag and I'd never shop at you so it just won't work.
It had no links or images associated with it (or possibly they were just stripped out by my mail server) I guess it's just a viral marketing attempt by $STORE. Anyhow, here's what it was:
Things to do @ $STORE while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time:
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G. I. Joe's vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restroom.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
I won't tell you how many of these I've done but it is a non-zero number. Also other shenanigans. It's a shame, $STORE. Your viral marketing might almost have worked on me except you're a big slimy scumbag and I'd never shop at you so it just won't work.
