Plant Review: Mother Fern
Aug. 5th, 2009 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pasitheaA couple months ago, I picked up some new plants for my studio. One of them was called a 'mother fern'. Pretty plant and fairly inexpensive. According to the care sheet, it was well suited to the light/heat/humidity/etc so I got it.
All I can say is that it seems to live up to its name.
Nothing I do makes it happy. It's listless and unhappy, constantly demands attention, and sits there, slowly dying and seems to blame me for all of its own failings.
Look 'mom'. I've tried different schedules of watering you. I've tried you in different places in the room, I've tried misting you, I've checked your soil PH and salinity, I've tried giving you some fertilizer. I've tried everything I can think of okay. If you wanna die, fucking die already so I can replace you with a decent plant. I've got like 30 other plants in here and they're all happy so seriously, the problem isn't me. It's you. Quit trying to make me feel bad and neglectful.
All I can say is that it seems to live up to its name.
Nothing I do makes it happy. It's listless and unhappy, constantly demands attention, and sits there, slowly dying and seems to blame me for all of its own failings.
Look 'mom'. I've tried different schedules of watering you. I've tried you in different places in the room, I've tried misting you, I've checked your soil PH and salinity, I've tried giving you some fertilizer. I've tried everything I can think of okay. If you wanna die, fucking die already so I can replace you with a decent plant. I've got like 30 other plants in here and they're all happy so seriously, the problem isn't me. It's you. Quit trying to make me feel bad and neglectful.
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Self control failing
Date: 2009-08-05 10:20 pm (UTC)Re: Self control failing
Date: 2009-08-05 10:36 pm (UTC)Re: Self control failing
Date: 2009-08-06 02:42 am (UTC)Re: Self control failing
Date: 2009-08-06 02:52 am (UTC)Years ago I had a black Mercury Topaz, the heat slightly melted a tape in the deck and I spent the next year and a half listening to the Edward Scissorhands soundtrack because it would not come out.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-05 11:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-05 11:33 pm (UTC)Little Shop of Horrors!
Date: 2009-08-06 03:54 am (UTC)Now, do you know any sadist Dentists? ;)
Re: Little Shop of Horrors!
Date: 2009-08-06 04:31 am (UTC)