pasithea

.... Oooh... My aching head.... Ugh...

Slowly trying to put together what happened yesterday, it's still a bit of a blur.
After my frustration with Microsoft's buggy applications on Tuesday, I had gone home and drank a bit and then stayed up until about 4AM playing video games. Unsurprisingly, I was rather tired and feeling a bit blah Wednesday morning.

When I woke yesterday I had a weird need to go to the Apple Store. Not really a very good idea actually. I'm broke this month thanks to the cops, and I was running late to work anyhow AND the nearest Apple Store is several miles out of my way AND I don't really need anything anyhow. *sigh* I've been stressed at work a lot lately though and I thought. Screw it. I keep staying until 9 at night. No one will miss me for an extra hour in the morning. So I biked to Palo Alto. If anything, this made me feel worse. I don't generally eat breakfast and by the time I got there, I was hungry and my head was killing me.

I wandered around the store for a while, in kind of a daze. People kept watching me cautiously like the always do, and I probably looked pretty awful to be honest. Dark rings around my eyes (from sweat-melted eyeliner that I'd slept in as much as a lack of sleep) and I've been doing a sort of 'crazed junkie' thing with my hair, making it deliberately clumped and sticking out at weird angles. Still. This was beyond that. There was a really strange tension in the air.

Then some clerk asked if they could help me and I made some fumbling excuse about being interested in the specs on the new Quad-core towers (which I can't afford) and he suggested I talk to one of the brains in the back.

... That sounded like a good idea... .... That sounded like a GREAT idea. WTF? Suddenly, I felt a new energy and made my way to the back, my mouth almost watering. "Brains" I kept repeating it to myself over and over almost as a mantra. Standing in the back, of course was the schmuck that'd given me the run-around about fixing the dead pixels on the display of the brand new laptop I'd bought (that I also couldn't afford) EVEN BETTER.

I shoved my way through the bleach-blonde trophy wives waiting to be told how to use their iPods and went right over the top of the desk, tackling Mr. Asshat. Not really sure what happened next, but I think my last thought was something about. "You were such a turd to me, and tomorrow that's all you'll be."

It's a bit of a blur after that. I remember lots of bright red splashes on the anti-spectic white of the Apple Store, and lots of pretty shrieking noise and then a joyous silence except for the faint wisps of some music, but it was indistinct, like when you leave your headphones on and come back into the room later.

I can't remember much at all after that. I think maybe I got hit by a Hummer H3. I remember seeing one of those fucking breeder-boxes coming up the street and being startled. Then crunching metal and shattered glass and some guy with a really pleading voice. It might explain all these bruises too. Fucking hit and run I guess. Damnit. How many fucking times can someone get hit by some rich asshole in a gas-guzzling luxury car and end up with amnesia anyhow.

Now that I think about it, maybe he thought I was dead or something because I also remember being in some church, and there were a bunch of people there who were crying and looked worried.

No... That's not right. I walked into the church. I remember now because the light was at my back and people were praying and the noise was really irritating my head-ache. They must have been pretty damn annoying now that I think about it. It wasn't just me, there was a whole freakin' mob.

I remember there was a lot of screaming and some kind of big buffet. Whatever it was, it must have been really greasy because I still feel sick and bloated. I also remember thinking it was odd that they would be doing baptisms in cherry koolaid. Oh.... Sweet monkey Jesus. Koolaid. It just dawned on me. They must have been like Jonestown or something. Now I remember seeing them all laying on the floor. I think they were all dead. It's a miracle _I'm_ not dead. They must have only poisoned the koolaid. Or maybe the raspberry jam. The cultists were covered with the stuff.

Anyhow, I knew I DEFINITELY didn't want to be there when the police arrived because they'd almost certainly find some way to blame me for all those whackos offing themselves, and I took off. A couple of the guys that'd followed me into the church tagged along. The rest stayed there and were, I think, attempting to administer CPR and Mouth to Mouth.

We ducked into the movie theatre for a bit, but the only thing that was playing that early was that fucking stupid "Knocked Up" film. I thought it was just some ignorant heterosexual piece of crap for the meat-sacks to wank to (Dumpy loser white guy gets hot chick) but it turns out it was some kind of psycho-drama slasher fic. Spoiler Warning: So... The film starts like in the trailer. There's a bunch of useless misogynist wankers laughing at some mindlessly stupid movie, and then all of a sudden! Mass carnage! There was even a really brilliant 3D sequence where some guy's HEAD flew straight at you, mouth jammed full of cell phone! I don't think I've EVER enjoyed a film so much. Especially not one I had such low expectations for.
The one thing that sucked was the audience. I never knew people could eat popcorn so damn loud and someone must have spilled a 55 gallon bucket of soda because the floors were really slick and sticky at the same time.

After the film, one of the guys I'd met at the Apple Store came over with a group of his friends. He was too shy to talk but I got the message that they were going to some kind of party or rave or something and I figured... Why not. I'd already fucked off this much time... Turned out it was like Marilyn Manson or GWAR or something. Lots of people in really kick-ass costumes, fireworks, and a sea of guys who needed showers pushing and shoving and making so much noise I couldn't even hear the music.

I totally lost sight of the guys I'd come in with and I was feeling a little weird anyhow. I've never been very big on crowds and it was getting rather late anyhow. ... It was about this time I realized I'd lost my backpack and my keys along with it. FUCK! I back-tracked though PA but everyplace was closed. Why is it nothing stays open past six in a college town? I was also surprised by the number of drunks staggering around. Baseball game maybe?

So.. I walked home. There must have been a really bad accident. A big section of El Camino was taped off with police lines and there was a lot of smoke and burning smell. I cut through some of those affluent yuppie neighborhoods and ran into yet another dead-end because someone couldn't have even pedestrians going through their precious residential streets. So I cut through the yards. Some jackass came running at me with a bat, screaming something. Probably about his precious lawn-gnome. I'd noticed its head wasn't attached and had picked it up to recite a little Hamlet.

I dodged and he swung wild and smashed the windshield of his own BMW! It set off the alarm AND the airbag! Bwahahaha! Dumbass! A couple seconds later, his wife came staggering out the door, baby in one hand, turkey drumstick in her mouth. I guess that's what it was, but I can't imagine what kind of person buys those outside of ren faires, and it looked a bit undercooked. She let it drop from her lips and pointed at him with apparent rage and limped towards him. Domestic violence anyone?

I didn't stick around to find out. I hopped the fence and made it to the next neighborhood and then made a bee-line for home. My head was feeling a little better but I still felt like I'd ate way too much (and I began to be vaguely worried that the buffet had been poisoned afterall)

When I got home, the door was locked. I knocked, but Stacey wasn't there. Probably gone to Jeff and Dasha's. She does that some evenings when I'm working late. My phone was with my bag and I was feeling pretty tired, so I took a long and really hot shower. *sigh* Hot water washes so much dye out of my hair. The tub was filthy when I was done, so I sprayed it with bleach and then hit the bed. Just woke up about an hour ago. Feeling better today, though Stacey didn't come home last night. I guess I should find a pay phone and call Jeff's and see if she's there. I hope she didn't go out looking for me. :(

Edit: F*** pay phones are expensive these days! Stacey was at Jeff's and she was pretty upset. She'd been really worried about me. She practically screamed at me to go home and lock the doors. WTF?

Edit 2: ... Read LJ and the News. Holy crap. ... I think things are making more sense now but... Can't talk about this now. Need to think. This is really scaring the Hell out of me.

Edit 3:I'm now reasonably sure I am not a zombie. I've a big bowl of steamed broccoli, a salad, and some cold tofu with no ill effects. In fact I'm feeling much better. I also have no desire to watch daytime soaps, televised golf, or E!

Edit 4: I really don't understand all of this. Only thing I can figure is that this: http://dv-girl.livejournal.com/346565.html somehow protected me. Or maybe that was how it was spread so quickly. Someone's ultimate prank. Infect people at a flashmob so that some time later the real thing happens. I'm guessing that whatever virus they used must have been weakened so we'd have time to disperse and make the event less suspicious. Maybe I built up some kind of resistance? Or maybe the flashmob was a failed experiment with a weaker strain?

Hopefully blogging publicly will keep some government agency from disappearing me to a lab for study.