Sleepy

[pasithea]

I stayed up until about 3AM reading the bible with the same fascination one generally reserves for gawking at a serious car wreck on the side of the highway. It's really terrible but you can't help but stare, and the whole while be just shaking your head going, "Wow... And some people think this is 100% true and what they should base their morality on?" Worst book ever.

The only thing I've learned so far is that God is possibly a ninja, or at least he occassionally flips out and kills people for no reason. I actually sent that off to the AskANinja.com guy. I imagine he gets thousands of internet fan-mails so it'll probably never get read, but who knows. Maybe he'll like it and use it.

Shamefully though, I admit I'm looking forward to reading more this evening. It tickles that same sort of stupid mirthful place as Beavis and Butthead. Heck, God actually calls himself El Shaddai or something like that in one place and it's got a sound that's way similar to The Great Cornholio.

I am El Shaddai! I need foreskin for my bunghole! Ehehehehehehe!

God and all the patriachs also seem to have this serious thing for 'savory meats' and God snubs Cain (and later Jacob) for bringing him a veggie platter. He also has Noah make him something that sounds like Turduken. What's up with that?

Comments

[paka.livejournal.com]

"What's up with that" is that there are two traditions operating here, an urbanized, agrarian tradition and a nomadic herding tradition. Like the difference in Cain and Abel's gifts is a metaphor for this stuff - the nomads win out. Theoretically. You notice all of this is written by a batch of priests sitting in cities. Remember, people used to eat what they sacrificed, so maybe this was an attempt to get more meat out of the deal?

[secret-x-stars.livejournal.com]

I just found you through a comment by hakeber in ginmar's journal. this is great. i may have to metaquote you when i feel slightly more concious. :D

[nikki-nmt.livejournal.com]

I am El Shaddai! I need foreskin for my bunghole! Ehehehehehehe!


I swear, that's the best line I've ever read in LJ. :)

[kyhwana.livejournal.com]

God is on some pretty serious shit!

[moonscream.livejournal.com]

I personally think its good that you're at least *reading* it, and not spouting someone else's religious dogma nonsense instead.

Much of it is symbolic more than literal (for instance, 'trees' usually refer to people), and meant to be read while asking yourself 'How does this apply to me/my situation?' You can read the texts of other religions the same way, and usually you will find that you get a much different interpretation than has become dogma in the 'established religions', particularly if you also compare the different texts. If nothing else, it makes for an interesting mental exercise that might lend some insight into yourself.

--Zhora

[kyhwana.livejournal.com]

Of course, lots of people still take it literally. >:(

[moonscream.livejournal.com]

So? That doesn't mean you or anyone else has to, and you're not responsible for their interpretation either. Just your own. Read it for yourself, and decide for yourself.

--Zhora

[kyhwana.livejournal.com]

The problem being all the people that DO take it seriously and try to push their bullshit onto the rest of us.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Most of the heathens, agnostics and aetheists I know have read more than one translation of the bible all the way through. Which isn't something I could have said about the congregation of the christian church I was raised in. I applaud your efforts to get peole to read scripture directly, since it seems to cause a lack of faith. :D

[moonscream.livejournal.com]

'Lack of faith' was not my point, actually. Find your own faith was my point - whether that is in God, Allah, Buddah, the Wiccan ways, native American ways, or your god be no god (atheism), etc., or all of the above! :D Even 'no God' can be it. The Bible is one way, if you're open to it.

--Zhora

[jackytar.livejournal.com]

There is a fair amount of common sense in the Old Testament if/when you consider the context of the times - the ban against pork was a health thing; ditto the going outside the city with a wooden paddle to dig a hole when you had to take a dump, etc. Why? This predates modern food prep & storage, as well as modern sanitation facilities.

Anyone ever notice the stoopids who insist the Bible has to be taken literally usually conveniently skip over the "no pork" or "out of the city for a shit" stuff?

BTW, I love your icon. I wants me some mecha, I do.