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Laughing and Stealing
I'm recovered from being sick now but still rather down. I hate wasting time, and yet, doing a little tracking the past few days, I do a lot of time wasting, even when I'm trying to be productive, I procrastinate a lot.
Anyhow, one of the few productive things I did this weekend was watch a bunch of Looney Tunes cartoons and sketch to them. I did a few sessions of freeze-framing and quick motion studies of Daffy, a lot of just drawing while I was watching them, and a bit of drawing and trying to incorporate style elements and motion from what I was watching without trying to reproduce what I was seeing.
These cartoons are so good. It makes me sad to know I'll never be half that good. Makes me envious too because I think the only way to really get that good is to be doing it as a job, working 8+ hrs/day on it.
I suppose it's a stupid kind of envy though. Like envying the housewife artists who have someone to care for them and can spend all their time working on their art, or envying the kids whose parents support them and get them tools and give them encouragement and let them follow their dreams. I often still moan about wondering where I'd be now if I'd gotten that from my family. Like with playing keyboard for instance, while I'm not fantastic at it, I am feeling like I have a pretty good knack for it and I'm learning it a lot faster than I did guitar, and I'm finding I can pretty easily bang out tunes and beats. I'm even starting to incorporate chords and stuff. It's really exciting!
but... If I take a small step back... Maybe I am the lucky one. I am entirely self-made. I don't owe my parents, I don't worry about losing my job because my drawings are off or the company might downsize or new talent might come along, and I'm not beholden to spread for some schmuck guy either. Also, while I may not yet be great, I am a lot better than I was and I'm continuing to improve.
Something else I've been pondering. I've often considered myself a failure because I compare myself to people like Edison, Mozart, etc, who were all claimed as successes before they were 30. There's a sulk hidden there about how some of it is timing. The old animators, to be sure, being born at the beginning of film was a huge boon for them in terms of becoming greats, but heck, I could make the same statement about digital animation processes and 3D animation. They couldn't make anything by themselves. I could make a feature film by myself if I had sufficient drive.
But there's another point in this where I've been somewhat unfair to myself. Life expectancy: In Mozart's time, living to 50 was pretty impressive. The age of the great Warner and Disney guys, most people weren't expected to make it much past 65. (Though many of them did) People born in my time, who take good care of themselves, baring disaster, will likely see 80, and 120 isn't out of the question. I can see I'm still improving and how drastically I've improved in just a couple of years. If I keep working, it may take 20 years but I can surpass. There's plenty of time yet to make up for a lousy childhood. OTOH, I can still do a lot to reduce slack and procrastination and make the most of the time I have right now.
Anyhow, one of the few productive things I did this weekend was watch a bunch of Looney Tunes cartoons and sketch to them. I did a few sessions of freeze-framing and quick motion studies of Daffy, a lot of just drawing while I was watching them, and a bit of drawing and trying to incorporate style elements and motion from what I was watching without trying to reproduce what I was seeing.
These cartoons are so good. It makes me sad to know I'll never be half that good. Makes me envious too because I think the only way to really get that good is to be doing it as a job, working 8+ hrs/day on it.
I suppose it's a stupid kind of envy though. Like envying the housewife artists who have someone to care for them and can spend all their time working on their art, or envying the kids whose parents support them and get them tools and give them encouragement and let them follow their dreams. I often still moan about wondering where I'd be now if I'd gotten that from my family. Like with playing keyboard for instance, while I'm not fantastic at it, I am feeling like I have a pretty good knack for it and I'm learning it a lot faster than I did guitar, and I'm finding I can pretty easily bang out tunes and beats. I'm even starting to incorporate chords and stuff. It's really exciting!
but... If I take a small step back... Maybe I am the lucky one. I am entirely self-made. I don't owe my parents, I don't worry about losing my job because my drawings are off or the company might downsize or new talent might come along, and I'm not beholden to spread for some schmuck guy either. Also, while I may not yet be great, I am a lot better than I was and I'm continuing to improve.
Something else I've been pondering. I've often considered myself a failure because I compare myself to people like Edison, Mozart, etc, who were all claimed as successes before they were 30. There's a sulk hidden there about how some of it is timing. The old animators, to be sure, being born at the beginning of film was a huge boon for them in terms of becoming greats, but heck, I could make the same statement about digital animation processes and 3D animation. They couldn't make anything by themselves. I could make a feature film by myself if I had sufficient drive.
But there's another point in this where I've been somewhat unfair to myself. Life expectancy: In Mozart's time, living to 50 was pretty impressive. The age of the great Warner and Disney guys, most people weren't expected to make it much past 65. (Though many of them did) People born in my time, who take good care of themselves, baring disaster, will likely see 80, and 120 isn't out of the question. I can see I'm still improving and how drastically I've improved in just a couple of years. If I keep working, it may take 20 years but I can surpass. There's plenty of time yet to make up for a lousy childhood. OTOH, I can still do a lot to reduce slack and procrastination and make the most of the time I have right now.