Jocks and Nerds

Interesting article but a bit one-sided.

http://nat.org/blog/2009/07/nerds-and-jocks/

I think that in Germany, while being an engineer isn't stigmatized, being fit and healthy is also encouraged but it's not done in the same way that it's done here. Americans seem to have this weird fascination with dualistic thinking. I've never really understood it.

Christians Vs Gays. FIGHT!

Pulled these links out of someone else's journal.

http://www.whosoever.org/v8i4/seal.shtml

http://blog.mattalgren.com/2009/09/hospital-forces-lesbian-to-die-alone/

http://www.newsweek.com/id/216910/page/1

The first one I found a bit tedious to read. It's someone's personal treatise on being a lesbian and a christian and how they view God. Not really an article for me, but if you've got someone in your life that's religious, there's probably a few points you can take from her story to try to gently coax them into the light.


The second article will just make you sick to your stomach. The idea that anyone could treat another person so low, especially children is just stunning and then for the court to support such vile behavior is disgusting beyond words. If had even the slightest pretense that 'separate but equal' was in any way equal, go ahead and read that one and when you're done, if you haven't changed your view, I recommend you read the third article.

Actually, I recommend everyone read the third article. I was moved to tears with compassion for the guy, or maybe co-miserate. In my earlier life, people like his earlier life had given me such contempt for anyone labeling themselves as a Christian that I would sooner spit on them than even attempt to be friendly to them. I'm not a mean person. I didn't like having that sort of reaction to people, but I'd bee so badly hurt by so-called christians so many times that there wasn't any room for trust there. It's still my knee-jerk reaction to have that response to anyone libeling themselves a 'conservative christian'.

Funny thing though. Jesus didn't really sound like such a bad guy. Sure he had asshole moments but on the whole, he was sort of a hippie guy who talked a lot about love and kindness... A lot like my ideal self really. I have no desire to carry around anger with anyone.

So I think, though I'm on the other side of the fence, I really understand how he feels. Being asked if he thought he was acting like Jesus is much the same question as asking me if I am on the path to my ideal self. Being awakened to that and suddenly becoming aware of all the harm that one has done is a very painful experience. Truth be told, making a post like this is part of my atonement for painting people like his current self with such a broad brush. I am aware that my attitudes were very hurtful to many people I know and I've had to make several adjustments to my framing of things.

I still don't believe in God but there's not a lot of profit in trying to prove to others that my reality is the dominant paradigm and theirs is flawed. I don't know all the answers and regardless of how improbable something may seem to me, it's arrogance to assert that I do know all the answers. I'll never be christian but I no longer so damaged by the bad variety of christians that I really feel threatened by them. I guess.. The worst they can do to me is torture me and kill me. Compared to poisoning my own self identity and self worth by living a life of hate, that's pretty trivial. It's more important to me to be uncompromisingly me than to constantly feel I need to change them.

Still. Stories like this one give me hope and they give me gentle words I can use which, one can hope, will get the bad ones to wake up and change themselves.

My ideal solution to the world isn't for everyone who disagrees with me to perish but instead that we all just relax a bit and accept that we're all different.

Igo ego agogo

I've been studying a lot of Go recently. Actually checked out a book from the library and read it and I've been doing studies of go problems nightly and playing with Stacey, people at work, on SecondLife, and KGS. I'm finding that it's a very good game for me. It spurs me into deep meditation. Also, as a microcosm of my behavior, it's proving useful as an analysis tool for my broader behavior.

Very often, I can see when I've made a bad move or a series of bad moves or a move that will hurt me later. At least at this stage, they are all various forms of ego or carelessness. I've observed myself more than once fight over a few points while leaving a high-pointage issue very vulnerable. I've also seen myself leave something unresolved to go do something else that seems 'more important' for that moment but because I haven't paid enough attention to the task I was working on, it falls apart. Overconfidence is definitely my weak spot. Particularly in KGS games (which are timed) I play considerably better against someone who is 15kyu than I do against someone who is 20kyu because I don't feel challenged by them and that causes me to get very overconfident and leave myself open to failures that just should not happen. This easily translates to normal life. Often in working on projects, I'll procrastinate on some easy task because I'm more interested in something 'more challenging'. Then the easy task comes do and I'm finding myself scrambling to catch up.

On Tuesday, I went with Stacey and Avona to the Sunnyvale Go club. Was rather fun, though I got beat by a four year old. ... Actually, I could have beat him quite easily. He was only playing at about 20kyu but I started feeling bad about my first game at the club being one where I mashed a toddler. So I backed off my assault a bit and he won by 4 points. ... I look forward to playing his brother who is 7 both in age and kyu rating but at the moment I'd be no challenge for him. :)

Of course, never let it be said my I don't do something with total passion. Over the past week or so, Stacey and I have also watched almost the entire series of Hikaru No Go. ... I must say that even ignoring my obsessive tendencies, this has been one of my favorite anime series. It stays very focused on telling a good story. While it initially employs a supernatural element, it never really becomes a dominant part of the story. It stays rather focused on the real world. ... I found that quite refreshing. Also, there aren't any 'bad guys' in it. There are adversaries, yes, and people who don't play fairly, but save for a few one-episode side plots, everyone that seems like a bad guy or who has supernatural talent is revealed to be just another person who has some character flaws and may or may not be a good person but they aren't patently GOOD or EVIL. ... I honestly can't remember the last time I've seen that in a show aimed at children.

And finally... It would seem Go is everywhere in my life lately. It's even invading my politics. Per http://www.usgo.org/news/ President Obama gifted a custom Go board to Hu Jintao. ... Now I'm left wondering how well each of them play. :)